my soul, my love, my wonder

A message and call to action from Ralph Bouwers, a resident of Lavender Hill in the Cape Flats and member of the LGBTIQ+ community: Fellow human beings, I greet you from my heart and share the story of many vulnerable individuals within the LGBTIQ+ community. My name is Ralph Bouwers, son of Lavender Hill. I am proud to be a drag queen with a legacy of titles, including the latest, MISS Legends District Six 2024, in honour of Kewpie, a coloured drag queen from District Six. As I look back on five decades of living in the same community on the Cape Flats, Im grateful for the safety net that has allowed me to thrive as a 53-year-old member of the LGBTIQ+ community. However, I'm deeply aware that life is not as easy for young, emerging queers. Gang violence, poverty, and social ills have created a toxic environment where verbal abuse, stoning, sexual assault, and mental trauma are daily realities. I have witnessed firsthand the struggles and challenges that come with being LGBTIQ+. For example, community member Beaulah was recently brutally assaulted: she survived to share her unimaginable ordeal, but the scars will be with her for life. It was only her immense core strength that got her to a friend's house for help, still naked. My "Beaulah ordeal" happened to me at six years old. It stays with you as life goes on. The Church's uneasiness with our community leaves many without a place to worship, forcing them to travel long distances to find acceptance. As a qualified Optician, I personally experienced the challenges of finding employment as a queer person. I was forced to cut my hair and travel for two hours to work in a different town. The lack of recreational facilities and sports infrastructure in our area fuels the drug and gang culture, putting everyone at risk. Even greater challenges are experienced by the transgender community, who often live behind closed doors, afraid and alone. Stigma is a heavy burden, putting them at risk of hate crimes, discrimination in employment, housing, and healthcare, social isolation and rejection, and mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. I wonder if our love will ever be accepted. I've experienced the pain of rejection and loss, having fallen in love with someone who was forced to marry a woman due to family pressure. I never truly loved anyone again. The memory of that heartbreak still lingers. Beaulah's experience and my own trauma are testaments to the lasting impact of such challenges. Despite these difficulties, our community remains resilient, driven by love and a determination to thrive. We come together to support one another, sharing our talents, resources, and love. We host beauty pageants, fashion shows, and social events that allow us to express ourselves and celebrate our identities. Our friends and family are our rock, supporting us through thick and thin. On stage, we blossom, our true beauty shining through as we strut our stuff with confidence and pride. However, we cannot do it alone. We need open-hearted support, understanding, and acceptance to bring out the wonder in us. It is imperative that we create a support system to help young adults navigate self-discovery, particularly during puberty. We must also acknowledge the importance of family and community support in overcoming adversity. To those in position of power, I urge you to recognize the value and worth of the LGBTIQ+ community. We are not insignificant, our lives matter. Our story is one of hope, resilience, and the unbreakable spirit of the LGBTIQ+ community on the Cape Flats. It is time for a more inclusive, compassionate society where everyone can live their truth without fear of persecution or erasure. Let us stand together. Let us create a world where every individual can thrive, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. To the hearts that felt this story, we seek support.                                                                                                                                                      ralphbouwers@gmail.com                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               +2778 629 3258